Weetabix is the best thing in the world.


I know, it looks kind of like shredded wheat crossed with dried cow patty. But here are some reasons to venture forth into a hearty bowlful:

1.) The name: "Weetabix." It's the double "e"s that make it the best. Why, it practically begins with the word "whee!"

2.) You can choose what texture you want your Weetabix to be. Pour your milk of choice on top of the Weeta-biscuits and it will soak right in -- then you can mash it up into oatmeal-esque porridge, or spoon off soggy chunks. Pour said milkstuff around the biscuits, however, and note how only the edges get damp, while the interior portion remains crispy! This is sensational.

3.) Fortified with vitamins!

4.) Organic!

5.) According to their website, each serving of Weetabix contains 537 kilojoules of energy. I think that's enough to punch through a wall!

6.) Also from the website: "Crammed with all the natural goodness of wholegrain, you can almost taste the long hot summers and gentle spring rain in every bite, resulting in the softest, plumpest grain imaginable." Doesn't that just make you want to fuck?

7.) It's made in the UK and is in fact the best-selling cereal in England, so Jarvis Cocker probably eats it.

8.) The yellow box also gives it a vaguely IKEA-esque Swedish flair that brightens up your breakfast nook and makes you feel cosmopolitan.



9.) Weetabix had a "wheat art" contest, and here is the winner, by a Yorkshire UK farmer who calls it "Naughty Puppy."



10.) Weetabix actually kind of doesn't taste like anything. It is the tabula rasa of cereals. A blank chalkboard upon which to scrawl your own individual gastronomic logarithm. An empty journal yearning only to be filled with one's florid personal poetry of milks, fruits and sugars. Whee!


One_11, USA